#2 Going too fast, discerning too slow, believing we can change others.
Have you ever gotten caught up in a whirlwind feeling that led you to ignore conscious awareness and rational thought?
We all want to be happy and sometimes we confuse instant gratification for happiness and end up hurting in the end.
This can be mitigated by
- taking care to pace ourselves in relationships
- be discerning about the people we engage with
- letting go of the belief that we can change the things we don’t like about other people
If you repeatedly observe dishonesty, secrets, gossip, unethical or unkind behavior – believe what you see!
You may notice these behaviors in yourself or others.
These are red flags that trust and security cannot be built until they are addressed.
Are you willing to address these things without living in denial that you can change another person?
#3 Be curious, not a detective.
Curiosity is a beautiful thing.
It is creative, hopeful and inspiring. Being a detective is for the purpose of “catching” and “punishing”.
Which do you possess more of?
If you are tempted to check another person’s phone, email, social media & cabinets are you being curious or being a detective. (I would guess the latter.) If you play the detective regularly, it is a flag that there is something about yourself or your environment that you do not trust.
- Check-in with yourself and decide if there is something about this behavior and your circumstances that you are willing to change.
- Embrace curiosity and let go of detective.
Believe that everything you need to know will be revealed to you if you are willing to see and acknowledge it!
Dawn Wiggins, Ed.S., Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist