Imagine you’re flying a plane. Now imagine you’re trying to land the plane. Regardless of whether or not you’ve ever flown a plane, there are some very basic things you need: direction and a place to land. That’s kind of how Family Strengthening and Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages work together for relationships… they’re directions and a place to land.
The Family Strengthening principles, also known as the lessons put forth by Al Laws Jr. and Advice4Life help couples navigate through the trials and tribulations of any relationship. Gary Chapman introduced The 5 Love Languages in order to create an environment for couples that both people in the relationship feel safe and supported. When couples use both together, the flight may not be easy, but at least you’ll always know where you’re going.
There are 5 love languages – Touch, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and receiving gifts. The idea behind these love languages is to understand what yours and your significant other’s love language is and use them to express love to one another. While these constructs are easy to remember, getting to these places take a little more work. That’s where the lessons from Family Strengthening and Advice4Life come into play.
Let’s say your partner’s love language is quality time. However, you’ve been pulled into a million different directions at your job and you can’t help but spend more time at the office. You’re caught in the in between because your spouse feeling neglected and their love tank being on empty and keeping afloat in your professional life, creating a comfortable life for you and your family. The pressure is on, that plane is flying, what do you do?
You know where you want to go, but how do you get there? Family Strengthening will first teach you to identify what you’re feeling and be open and honest about it. The skills give a step by step process on how to communicate and share feelings in a healthy and non-combative way. This map is what will get you to your end goal… the love language. By communicating your thoughts, your position and having an exchange on ways to help alleviate the situation, your partner is now able to understand where you are, where you are coming from and you can work together to get to the solution for spending more time together – the love language.
This is just one example of the various ways you can use Family Strengthening in conjunction with the 5 Love Languages. While using one is a helpful tool in building and maintaining a relationship, the two together are a powerful entity in the preservation of friendships, marriages, and family bonds. So go ahead, learn to fly.
Watch the past #Advice4Life session here.
To learn more about the 5 Love Languages, click here.