Inter caste marriage problems are mostly faced by a woman more than a man as in the end a woman has to sacrifice her last name and even her caste.

Nowadays women are opting not to change their last name. Which is quite questionable to others but personally I feel women are growing in another way. 

People say ‘there is no harm in changing your last name’ so why is it a big deal for them when a woman doesn’t want to change it? 

Let’s understand this by taking an instance. 

When a groom’s family asks a newly wed bride to change her last name by saying it’s just a name, it doesn’t even matter. Then why do these people comment on other women who don’t want to change their surname? Now where there ‘ it’s just a name’ theory has gone. If it’s just a name then why in first place you want her to change it? 

I feel it’s ok to say it’s just a name until it’s faced by you yourself. When something happens in a society it’s ok to judge others but when that same thing happens in your family you say you do that because your religion and caste want it. 

marriage of a couple in indian tradition

Why are people against it? 

People have a mind set of seeing it in a way their ancestors were seeing. There is no growth in terms of mental well being. It’s actually a hierarchy without evolution, what one says followed by others. 

Inter caste is a big revolutionary issue which is fought just on social media. When it comes to one’s family no one wants a conflict.

We people are born as human and further, we people divide ourselves into religion and caste. Inter caste discrimination is no new in this era, but has roots from it’s past. 

Our families, society and we all are not responsible for having this thought in mind as this is what has been happening for centuries. But we are all responsible for having this kind of mindset and not evolving with time. 

Reasons why people are against of inter caste marriage:

•Main reason without any further description is the difference in castes.

•Families are against it as it is against their culture. 

•Families would have to face lots of criticism from society. 

•According to our families and society, inter caste marriage would be full of problems as one doesn’t understand the other person’s caste well enough.

•Families are afraid of the fact that the couple wouldn’t be accepted by society. 

Challenges faced by couples in inter-caste marriage problems? 

•Rejection from family

It’s not easy to get acceptance from family and society. Some are happy seeing their children happy and accept but some don’t accept it at any cost. It’s difficult to lead a life without the love and support of your families. 

It’s difficult to live a life without having your family besides you as your support.

•Rejection from society

Society can be cruel sometimes. It’s not like everytime you do something and they would be happy. Marriage is a decision which affects not only the families but society and relatives also. 

When someone does inter-caste marriage, most of the time society disagrees. 

But it’s our decision to make and to get married which could lead to some consequences. One of them is ignorance from the society. 

If accepted by family:

For parents their Children come first and so they accept their inter-caste marriage with a heavy heart. But this doesn’t mean you will lead a happy life but you gotta have to face a lot of problems. 


Inter-caste marriage is something our parents don’t support. So whether they have accepted you or not you will get criticism for life. 


Your parents and family members will always compare you with girls or boys or the same caste and makes you think about your marriage as a mistake. 

•Difficult to settle down

Settling down and adjusting with a new family is difficult for every girl but it would become harder if you had an inter-caste marriage. 

•Different standard of living

When you marry someone below or above your caste, you would definitely face difficulty in adjusting as you both have different standards of living. 

•Tradition problem

Caste and religion are so diversified that how much you try, at some point of time you both would face difficulty. Tradition and culture is what remains with us forever but when you marry someone of another caste it’s difficult to adapt there’s tradition easily. 

•Lifestyle problems

When you are marrying someone from another caste one thing you would notice would be a change in lifestyle. Though lifestyles vary from person to person but when you live with someone of other caste you find it difficult to level up to their style of living. 

•Blame game for lifetime

Family and society would continue for a lifetime. Every family gathering would end up discussing you and how embarrassed your families are because of your decision. 

What could be the possible future scenes :


Family acceptance is utmost important to live a happy life. You don’t want to live a life without your parents and not having grandparents for your kids. 

family having dinner together

•You started feeling as a part of their family. 

With time everything would get better. You would start feeling like home there and happy when you wake up. That feeling of acceptance is top of the world. You feel now you are equally important to the family as your better half. 

•Cultural difference would always be there

But you would learn to live with it. As time passes, you would learn a lot about their culture. You might not be able to accept it as whole but part of you now wants to try. 

•Blame game is less

Time heals a wound but leaves a scar. Same like this they would accept you but won’t stop criticizing young. But that blame game is less now, which is a positive sign for a happy life. 

•Comparison is still there

They would still compare you with other girls/boys of their caste but now that doesn’t bother you. As somewhere inside you also know they have accepted you and started liking you. 

•With time, society will also accept

Society works in the present, they need a controversial topic to talk or gossip about. They don’t even care about you or your life. So never think what people will say or think about you. It’s just a matter for time for them to accept. 

•sometimes you do regret of not marrying someone of your caste

When you heard continuous criticism sometimes thought like this came but the love you are getting from your partner ruled out everything else. 


Some parents never agree. They try their best to end this marriage and to convince you to come back to them.

•Most of the conflicts between parents and children end up at the end of the relationship you shared with them. 

•Some parents ask you to completely cut off from them and lead life without them and some don’t accept it in any way and try their best to end the inter-caste marriage. 

•If you want to have a smile on your face every day, stay away from bad society. No one likes when they see people in love living together happily. 

•You would miss your family a lot but can’t do anything. It’s a harsh reality but you have to live with it. 

•Sometimes when you miss them so much you wish you could have listened to your family and so they might be living up with you and was a part of your happy family. 

Conclusion :

Marriage is a big step in life. Marriage is not between two people but it’s between two families. Everyone wants to have a perfect marriage with approval of their families. But it’s not that easy. Inter caste or intra caste marriage, problems can occur in either of the marriages so it’s not right to say inter caste marriage wrong. Personally I believe you can’t make everyone happy, try your best to convince your parents for the marriage but in the end, do what makes you happy. 

couple having prosperous marriage

Shilpa Choudhary

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