Does life feel like it gets in the way of your marriage? Is there a void resting between you and your spouse? If you can answer yes to these questions, know first – this is common, and this is fixable. Your marriage is worth it – find out how to reconnect with your partner and prioritize your relationship.
8 Must-Read Ways on How to Reconnect With Your Partner for a Happily Ever After
Dating, falling in love, and planning your wedding is all fun and essential milestones in your relationship. You’re beginning a new life with your partner – everything is new, exciting, and you feel more connected than ever! But what about when you start building a life with your spouse? Each day is a new stepping stone added to the path you and your partner are on together. But what happens when the stones laid begin veering off in different directions? How do you reconnect with your partner and continue moving forward when this happens?
With all the love and good intentions in marriage, unfortunately, disconnect, and an imbalance in relationship priorities can still happen. Is this what you’re experiencing right now?
Let’s get you and your loved one back on track.
#1 Spend Intentional and Quality Time Together
You may see your spouse every day. But, how many moments are spent without phones, or just in passing, or not discussing children or work? Life is busy, but shouldn’t get in the way of your marriage.
TIP: Set aside time each day – even if just 15 minutes – to spend some quality time with your partner. Enjoy dinner together, catch up over coffee, or schedule a date night. You and your partner will feel refreshed and reinvigorated.
#2 Communicate Often and Listen Well
Communication is so crucial in repairing, maintaining, or boosting the connection between you and your spouse. Making an intentional and conscious effort to let your loved one know what’s on your mind and how you’re doing is so important. Practice listening to understand, instead of listening to respond; This can go a long way in genuinely connecting with your partner and understanding where they stand.
TIP: Being present in your relationship is essential.
#3 Check-In Regularly
Just as you would with your children, or perhaps coworkers, you should check in with your spouse regularly – daily even. Ask them how their day was and then give them insight into yours. Ask your partner if they need anything or if there’s anything you can do for them. Let them know when you’ll be home later or what your schedule looks like for the week, then ask about theirs as well.
TIP: Small and straightforward check-ins like this with your spouse can ensure you both feel involved and in the know when it comes to each other’s lives.
#4 Make Plans and Decisions Together
Many arguments and frustrations have stemmed from plans and decisions being made without couples consulting each other. I’m sure you’ve experienced this. No one is expected to ask their spouse on every plan or decision. But, you and your spouse must have regular opportunities to participate. When making evening or weekend plans, speaking with your partner before confirming them can ensure you’re both comfortable and onboard.
TIP: Critical decisions, such as finances or involving your children, should always be made together. However, even collabing about what’s on the menu for dinner now and then can strengthen you as a team.
#5 Set Outside Relationship Boundaries
When you have other meaningful relationships outside of your marriage, they mustn’t take precedence over your marriage. Being there for your friends and family when they need you is important. Still, if they regularly affect plans with your spouse or impede on quality time, it can have a negative impact. Intentionally set boundaries with how often people come over to your home and be sure to keep prior commitments with your partner.
TIP: Neither of you should feel outside pressure or competition for the time within your marriage.
#6 Stop Scorekeeping
It can be entirely too easy to make household decisions based on who did what last. Scorekeeping like this isn’t necessarily helpful to either of you. Even if you did the dishes last night, your spouse might not be in the best position to take on the responsibility today.
TIP: Being in tune to what tasks your partner can reasonably take on, and offering to fill in where needed, can make them feel supported. Your spouse will appreciate your paying attention to their needs and working with them as a team to pick up slack when needed.
#7 Offer Encouragement
We could all use words of encouragement regularly to keep going; Positive words from you are precisely what your loved one wants and needs to hear. Let your spouse know what you appreciate about them.
TIP: Encourage their strengths. And when they fail or falter, offer lifting words and helpful insight. Through encouragement, both you and your partner can gather strength – both personally and as a couple.
#8 Seek Professional Therapy
Professional therapy is an incredibly useful tool in learning how to reconnect with your partner and prioritize your marriage. At times, it can be challenging to see what’s needed to repair and heal your marriage.
TIP: By speaking with a professional and experienced therapist, you can gain powerful insight and support so you can both move forward together and positively.
Dawn Wiggins, Ed.S., Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist