What leads to a sex breakdown in your marriage? It could be several things:
- busy careers,
- past affairs,
- personal issues –
- or a combination of all of them.
Sometimes, life gets in the way.
Let’s get you back on track with your spouse. Here’s how to fix it. Scroll down and read more about how to have more sex in your marriage.
5 Simple Ways on How to Have More Sex in Your Marriage
1. Talk and figure out together when it started.
Start here. Sexlessness in your marriage can be caused and influenced by so many different factors.
If you don’t take the time to investigate what started the decline, then you won’t know what problem to fix.
Sure, lack of sex is the main idea you’re trying to address; But, it’s a symptom, not the problem.
Think back to when you first began to notice the decrease and consider the following:
Were you able to identify a possibility? Great!
Remember, even if the problem has since resolved doesn’t mean it’s any less critical.
The problem or situation that led to decreased sex is still having an impact. Next, it’s time to chat with your spouse.
2. Speak to your partner.
Problems can’t be resolved unless you open up lines of communication. Your partner may not even realize there’s a problem unless you speak up!
Yes, you may have to tread some uncomfortable waters when you initiate the conversation. In the end, you’ll be glad you took that dive. Letting your partner know what’s bothering you, or asking what’s bothering them, is vital.
3. Be honest. Don’t judge.
While the topic you’re discussing may not be your idea of a fun time, treat this as an opportunity. An opportunity for what, you ask? Remember that loss of intimacy issue I mentioned earlier? This is the perfect time to work on that.
4. Try new activities.
Now, for the fun part. Time to try something new! This doesn’t necessarily have to be sex-related. The important thing is to get out of your routine.
Try one (or all) of these:
- Plan a weekend away. This could be something as simple as picking up and driving to the hotel down the road. Just get away from the day-to-day for a bit!
- Plan a fun date. Try a cooking class together, or maybe check out that new bar downtown. Have fun and let loose.
- Take a day to just lay around in bed. Talk, laugh, watch movies, have sex! The dishes in the sink can wait.
5. Seek therapy.
Things change in life.
Your marriage is not exempt from this – but that’s not a bad thing!
Your relationship should grow and change right along with you. The problem that some couples run into is not knowing how to accommodate growth and change in their marriage.
Marriage Therapy is a tool to help with this.
When you seek treatment from an experienced professional, it can help you get down to the nitty-gritty.
Are you and your partner experiencing a sexual disrupt in your marriage? Are you seeking help on how to have more sex in your marriage? Let’s chat. You and your spouse don’t need to tackle this alone.
Dawn Wiggins, Ed.S., Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist